Show, Don’t Tell

Show, Don’t Tell

by Erin

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/show-dont-tell/

What does it mean to “show” and not “tell” in your writing?

I know those words can be frustrating. You might not know exactly what “show, don’t tell” means. Or you might believe that you are showing when you’re really telling.

While “telling” can be useful, even necessary, most people don’t realize how vital “showing” is to an effective story, essay, or even a blog post. Showing allows the reader to follow the author into the moment, to see and feel and experience what the author has experienced. Using the proper balance of showing and telling will make your writing more interesting and effective.

“Okay, I get it,” you’re thinking. “But how do I do it? How do I bring more ‘showing’ into my writing?”

I’m glad you asked. Here are some tips that will help make your writing more vivid and alive for your reader.

1. Use dialogue

This is probably one of the first things I talk to my students about when I have them write personal essays. Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves:

“Justin Michael,” mom bellowed, “Get in here this instant!”

Dialogue can give your reader a great deal about character, emotion and mood.

2. Use sensory language

In order for readers to fully experience what you’re writing about, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight.

3. Be descriptive

I’m sure everyone remembers learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school. When we’re told to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey your meaning.

The following example is from a short story I wrote.

Telling: He sits on the couch holding his guitar.

There’s nothing wrong with that sentence. It gives the reader some basic information, but it doesn’t create an image. Compare that sentence with this:

Showing: His eyes are closed, and he’s cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover. It’s as if he’s trying to hold on to something that wants to let go.

The second example takes that basic information and paints a picture with it. It also uses figurative language—in this case, the simile “cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover”—to help create an image.

When using description, it’s important not to overdo it. Otherwise, you can end up with what I call “police blotter” description. For example:

He was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes. He wore a red shirt and jeans, and a brown leather jacket.

4. Be specific, not vague

This is another one I’m constantly reminding my college students about. Frequently, they will turn in essays with vague, fuzzy language. I’m not sure if they think this type of writing sounds more academic, but all it really does is frustrate the reader.

Instead of writing, “I had never felt anything like it before in my entire life,” take the time to try and describe what that feeling was, and then decide how best to convey that feeling to the reader. Your readers will thank you for it.

Click HERE to learn the rules of punctuating dialogue

Click HERE to see a great list of sensory words

Homework:

Now it’s your turn to try. Your homework is to add one line of “tell” and “show” to the following Google Document (I shared it with you all and it was emailed to you) – be sure to leave your name on the document

The Adventures of Odysseus

An important part of life is overcoming challenges. Today in class you will be reading about the challenges that the Greek hero, Odysseus, faced on his return journey home from the Trojan War.

Click the following link for the site you will be using: The Travels of Odysseus

Your task:

1.  Read the story of Odysseus’ journey and visit the Explore and Challenge section.

2. Select one challenge that Odysseus faced.

5. Using Comic Life, illustrate and describe the challenge that Odysseus faced. Be sure to include how he dealt with this challenge. Use captions under pictures to give setting. Use speech bubbles for dialogue, and thought balloons to show what characters are thinking. Have fun with it.

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Rites of passage in Sparta

In Sparta, the agoge (a-go-jay) was a definite test that boys underwent before they could be considered men. Can you think of anything nowadays that marks the transition from childhood to adulthood? Describe your ideas in the comments section.

Explore the sites below and gain more knowledge about life in Sparta. Be familiar with these two sites for Thursday. You never know what might pop up in class…

Site #1

Site#2

Today’s Sparta Powerpoint

A Fun Game – Are you strong enough to become a citizen?

Homework

Visit both websites, play the fun game and review the powerpoint.

Quiz

Friday – 11/10/2013

Vocabulary #3 – Etiquette and Behavior

brusque

cordial

dignity

hospitable

irksome

nicety

propriety

refined

suave

tact

Homework: finish your Vocabulary packet by Monday. Work and study for about 10 min. per night. DUE MONDAY – 9/9/13

VOCABULARY LESSON 3 HOMEWORK – scanned copy

Try using this Quizlet link for Vocab. #3

QUIZ – Wednesday 11/09/13

Find VIRL (Vocabulary In Real Life) for table points – you must be able to read the sentence it was used in you book

Survival Journal

Journaling

Surviving in the Scottish Wilderness

Imagine that you are hiking with a group of friends in the woods in Scotland, and the weather changes unpredictably. The icy rain is lashing down in sheets, and it is difficult to see where you are going. You decide that you need to make an emergency shelter in order to survive. As you begin, you notice that one of your friends is missing. The storm is raging and dangerous, and it is beginning to get dark. What do you do?

  • Write a first-person narrative story, narrated by you. You should speak for yourself, about yourself. (use words like “I, me, us, we”)
  • Try to use dialogue – using “quotation marks” to show what characters are saying.
  • Give vivid descriptions using the five senses (what does it look like? Feel like? Sound like? Smell like? Taste like?)
  • Try and paint a picture in your readers mind. Describe the scene with as much detail as you can.
  • Have fun with it and see where your imagination takes you.