Revising Your Personal Narrative

This is revision week for your Personal Narrative, and you will  be revising your draft for each of the Six Traits of Writing.

Revising for IDEAS

As you read the draft of your personal narrative, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Have I gathered enough details about this experience?
  • Have I organized the events in chronological order?

Also refer to Write Source for information on Revising for Ideas (pgs. 114-115)

As part of your revision today highlight the following sensory details in your draft:

Sight – Yellow

Sound – Light Green

Touch – Pink

Smell – Blue

Taste – Purple

If there is not much color on your narrative draft, you should revise to include more sensory details so the reader can ‘picture’ what you are writing about. Remember it is important to ‘Show Not Tell’.

Revising for ORGANIZATION

When revising for organization ask yourself these questions:

  • Did I choose the best way to begin my narrative? What did I use to grab the reader’s attention?
  • Is the middle well organized? How have I used transitions?
  • Does my ending work well? Does my whole narrative lead up to the lesson I learned?

Identify and underline any transition words you have used. Refer to page 116 of  Write Source for transition examples and click HERE for examples in my blog.

Refer to pages 116-117 of  your Write Source text for further tips on revising forORGANIZATION.

Revising for VOICE.

When revising for voice ask yourself these questions:

  • Does the writing sounds like me?
  • Does the reader know what I am thinking and how I am feeling?
  • Does my writing contain dialogue? Remember, dialogue helps to convey your personality.

Refer to pages 118-119 in your Write Source text for further tips on revising for voice.

Revising for WORD CHOICE.

When revising for word choice think about the following:

  • The words should be interesting and colorful
  • Words should not be REPEATED, REPEATED, REPEATED! You should try to find other interesting words to say the same thing. E.g. Instead of said – DECLARED, WHISPERED, SUGGESTED, CHALLENGED etc
  • Your words should express the right feeling and show your attitude about your topic
  • Use specific words to add feeling

(See page 120 in your Write Source text for examples of how different word choices can create different feelings.)

Revising for SENTENCE FLUENCY.

When revising for sentence fluency ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do the sentences FLOW nicely? There aren’t too many short sentences or too many long sentences?
  • Do the sentences START in DIFFERENT WAYS?
  • Is the story easy to read aloud?

(See Pages 122 and 123 in your Write Source book for more tips on revising for sentence fluency.)

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